The Happiness Project and the Art of Reimagining Resolutions (part 1)
We’re almost to 2025, and as I near the end of any year, I become abuzz with ideas about what I hope the next year will look like. I’ve always been on the bandwagon of one-word themes for the year (previous ones of mine include consistent, nurture, grit). I love making a list of resolutions (both large and small), cracking open a fresh new journal, filling out a new planner (here is my 2025 pick!), and believing the new, better version of myself will emerge when the clock strikes midnight.
The past few weeks, I’ve been contemplating what I want to focus on in 2025: Should I choose another word? Commit to one resolution for the entire year? Or do away with resolutions altogether? And then, I read The Happiness Project: Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun by Gretchen Rubin.
On a quest to make sure she wasn’t wasting her days (the quote, “The days are long but the years are short,” is woven throughout the book), Gretchen embarked on a one-year Happiness Project. The book chronicles her journey month by month, working to increase her happiness—not because she was unhappy, but because she wanted to see if she could be or feel happier.
Using research, self-reflection, and asking herself some questions (What areas do I want to address? What makes me happy?), she brainstormed resolutions across various areas of her life. Each month had a theme, with specific, actionable goals under that theme. Her approach? Make small, cumulative changes under a larger umbrella to see if they could lead to greater overall joy and satisfaction.
If you’re intrigued like I was, keep reading.
Gretchen’s Monthly Themes and Actions:
January - Boost Energy (Focus: Vitality)
Actions: Go to sleep earlier. Exercise Better. Toss, restore, organize. Tackle a nagging task. Act more energetic.
February - Remember Love (Focus: Strengthen relationships with loved ones, particularly, her husband)
Actions: Quit nagging. Don’t expect praise or appreciation. Fight right. No dumping. Give proofs of love.
March – Aim Higher (Focus: Work and ambition)
Actions: Launch a blog. Enjoy the fun of failure. Ask for help. Work smart. Enjoy now.
April – Lighten Up (Focus: Parenthood and creating more fun with her children)
Actions: Sing in the mornings. Acknowledge the reality of people’s feelings. Be a treasure house of happy memories. Take time for projects.
May – Be Serious About Play (Focus: Hobbies, leisure, and making time for fun).
Actions: Find more fun. Take time to be silly. Go off the path (getting out of comfort zone). Start a collection.
June – Make Time for Friends (Focus: Building and maintaining meaningful friendships)
Actions: Remember birthdays. Be generous. Show up. Don’t gossip. Make three new friends.
July – Buy Some Happiness (Focus: Money)
Actions: Indulge in a modest splurge. Buy needful things. Spend out. Give something up.
August – Contemplate the Heavens (Focus: Eternity, Spirituality, mindfulness, and gratitude)
Actions: Read memoirs of catastrophe. Keep a gratitude notebook. Imitate a spiritual master.
September – Pursue a Passion (Focus: Books)
Actions: Write a novel. Make time. Forget about results. Master a new technology.
October – Pay Attention (Focus: Mindfulness and living in the moment)
Actions: Meditate on koans (paradoxical questions). Examine True Rules. Stimulate the mind in new ways. Keep a food diary.
November – Keep a Contented Heart (Focus: Attitude)
Actions: Laugh out loud. Use good manners. Give positive reviews. Find an area of refuge.
December – Boot Camp Perfect (Focus: Happiness - revisiting and reinforcing all resolutions from the year)
Actions: Review progress, strengthen habits, and integrate everything into daily life.
All these items embodied the changes she wanted to make in her life. To stay on track with her monthly challenges, she also created a list of “Twelve Commandments”—personal principles to guide her when she struggled to stick to her resolutions. Inspired by Benjamin Franklin’s “Virtues Chart” (a system of 13 virtues he aimed to improve, like temperance, frugality, and moderation), Gretchen’s commandments included:
1. Be Gretchen.
2. Let it go.
3. Act the way I want to feel.
4. Do it now.
5. Be polite and be fair.
6. Enjoy the process.
7. Spend out.
8. Identify the problem.
9. Lighten Up.
10. Do what ought to be done.
11. No calculation.
12. There is only love.
Also inspired by Banjamin Franklin, she decided to keep a chart to track her progress. Lastly, she added a whimsical list called her “Secrets of Adulthood.” These nuggets of wisdom included gems like, “It’s okay to ask for help,” “Do good, feel good,” and “What you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while.”
Not only did I love reading the book, but I was also so inspired by how much she grew as she explored a new area each month. By year’s end, even though she didn’t hold the line perfectly in every area, she was happier. When she faltered, her commandments acted as a compass to propel her forward.
She often reflected on the quote, “It’s easy to be heavy, and harder to be light.” I found this to be a recurring theme throughout her project—it was easier to nag but harder to let go (Let it go, one of her commandments). Yet as the year progressed, she became clearer, lighter, and more trusting of the process. Many of her changes required effort, and yet so much came down to her mindset and thought life.
As a habitual resolution and goal enthusiast, I finished the book both intrigued and inspired. Instead of focusing on a singular word (which can sometimes feel too broad or reductive) or creating a long list of resolutions (which can feel overwhelming unless broken into smaller, actionable steps), I began thinking: What if I too choose to make small, deliberate changes across multiple areas of my life to build a happier, more intentional life for myself?
I’ll close with a quote from the final chapter:
“I’d noticed idly that a lot of people use the term “goal” instead of “resolution”, and one day in December it struck me that this difference was in fact significant. You hit a goal, you keep a resolution. “Run a marathon” makes a good goal. It’s specific, it’s easy to measure success, and once you’ve done it, you’ve done it. “Sing in the morning” and “Exercise better” are better cast as resolutions. You won’t wake up one day and find that you’ve acheived it. It’s something that you have to resolve to do every day, forever. Striving toward a goal provides the atmosphere of growth so important to happiness, but it can be easy to get discouraged if reaching the goal is more difficult than you expected. Also, what happens once you’ve reached your goal? Say you’ve run the marathon. What now — do you stop exercising? Do you set a new goal? With resolutions, the expectations are different. Each day I try to live up to my resolutions. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I fail, but every day is a clean slate and fresh opportunity. I never expect to be done with my resolutions, so I don’t get discouraged when they stay challenging. Which they do.
Which each passing month, too, I realized the importance of my First Commandment, “Be Gretchen”. As great minds throughout the ages have pointed out, one of our most pressing concerns should be to discover the laws of our own nature. I had to build my happiness on the foundation of my character; I had to acknowledge what really made me happy, not what I wished made me happy. One of the biggest surprises of the happiness project was just how hard it was to know myself. I’d always been slightly exasperated by philosophers’ constant emphasis on what seemed to me to be a fairly obvious question, but in the end I realized that I would spend my whole life grappling with the question of how to “Be Gretchen”.
The year is over and I really am happier. After all my research, I found out what I knew all along: I could change my life without changing my life. When I made the effort to reach out for them, I found that the ruby slippers had been on my feet all along; the bluebird was singing outside my kitchen window.”
I was so inspired after reading this book that I’ve decided to embark on my own Happiness Project for 2025. This book prompted me to reflect on my own values, consider what my own list of principles would look like, and start thinking about what I want to focus on each month. My hope is that these resolutions become habits that last far beyond 2025.
To see the plan for my 2025 Happiness Project, stay tuned for Part 2—coming next week!
