surveying life in oil changes.

I love oil changes. One of the most mundane tasks in vehicle maintenance happens to get me downright giddy. Soon after I got my first car, I realized that oil changes were going to be one of the many habitual tabs open in my brain if I wanted to have a reliable car. And with a car maintenance aficionado dad like I’ve got, I don’t go past 3,500 miles MAX without getting it changed because I’m a rule follower and I like to take care of what I’ve got.

For the last handful of years, I’ve used oil changes as a special way to take inventory in my life — to sit and reflect on what’s happened since the last.

I remember going to one oil change in particular, it was the middle of Winter and it’d begun getting dark by 5 pm. I got off of work and drove 45 minutes to the dealership after one of the longer days working in the courts. I was exhausted and depleted, feeling all of the ways you would imagine you’d feel after spending all day in a courtroom with no windows listening to the gruesome details of criminal proceedings — entering complex sentences and issuing protection orders, one after the other. I sat there in that fluorescent-lit dealership lobby wondering how I, someone who has spent her entire life working to be the kind of person that doesn’t end up frequenting the courthouse, found herself there 40+ hours a week.

As I sat there decompressing from the day, I was stressed and overworked and I remember those feelings of discontent vividly as I lethargically listened to Wheel of Fortune play on the TV behind me. Fast forward to the next oil change, ~3,000 miles and a handful of months later, and there I was again in that same dealer lobby, even in the same chair as before. And yet so much had changed. I had just started a new job two days prior, feeling grateful and excited, relishing in the dream opportunity I’d been given that I could’ve hardly foreseen from where I sat during that previous Winter visit. With a pep in my step, I remember thinking “Man, the last time I was here, I was so bummed and worn out. But look what’s happened since that day, look how quickly things can change! I wonder what will happen by the next oil change.”

And now, like clockwork, each time I hand my key to the Service Rep and find my seat with coffee in hand, the process begins again. Even if I’ve got a book or my laptop with me, I first stop and ask myself “What’s happened in the last ~3,000 miles?” Most of the time there isn’t a major milestone like a new job to reflect on, but there’s always some sort of mile marker to take inventory of. As each oil change progresses, I look back and realize what’s changed — sometimes it’s been hard things like the loss of a loved one or parting ways with a friend. Other times, it’s reminiscing on the times I’ve zip-lined through the mountains, fed giraffes at the zoo or blissfully walked along the canals in Amsterdam. Between oil changes I’ve embarked on new business ventures, held new babies, gotten new tattoos and watched some of my fav musicians play live. I’ve made new friends, read new books and tried new things. I’ve felt pain, felt joy, felt restless, felt hopeful — the list could go on.

As the years progress, I continually look forward to oil changes. I appreciate the solace and the consistency they provide. Sometimes, as I’m sitting there, I think about the obstacles or challenges I know I’ll face in the coming days or weeks and I intentionally acknowledge that by the next time I’m back in that lobby, they’ll be but a memory. I’ve learned that my worries or fears are never the same two oil changes in a row. Come the next oil change, it’s certain I’ll have new mile markers to work towards and old ones to move on from - either with sorrow or with glee.

So much can happen in 3,000 miles. New songs become old songs. Crushed hopes and let-downs heal and make way for new dreams and plans to take root. Sometimes as I’m sitting there I realize I haven’t made a dent in a certain goal I’d made for myself at the last oil change and I resolve to make progress by the next one. Similar to my job where we have routine Quarterly Business Reviews, I think it’s crucial to have some sort of regular review of our own lives — where we’re at, how far we’ve come and what’s ahead. Just as our car gets primed and refreshed for the next leg of the journey, I think it’s just as necessary for us to filter out the old and prepare for the new, too.

Whatever it is for you — be it car maintenance, filing your taxes, getting your teeth cleaned or being stuck in traffic — anything that habitually shows up in your life can be an opportunity for reflection. I hope you’ll be an active participant in the survey of your life. I hope this encourages you to choose an ordinary, mundane task and transform it into an opportunity to renew and recalibrate.

I’m finding that this active participation helps me get more out of every mile, just like those oil changes.

I’ll see you in ~3,000 miles.